We will all be wrecked at some point. Many of us will hold hands with a friend who walks through their own life wreckage. What do we do? What do we say?

I think often we don’t need to say or do anything. Being still, perhaps just listening, is the best gift you can give the hurting. I know I tend to be too quick to offer advice and solve the problem. I’m afraid often that just makes everything worse. When listening to the Spirit, He repeatedly tells me to be quiet and listen to them speak. 

When it’s time to offer encouragement, I strive to remember, along with whatever advice I may have, to remind them of the most important thing they must do. I tell them to run to Jesus and never leave. Sit at His feet and beg Him to heal. We serve a gracious and compassionate God who longs to be our healer in a way no advice or person can.

Why is there such a struggle?

The struggle is where we place our trust. Where do we run to for relief when we are hurt and broken? I’ve wasted many years running to the wrong things. The enemy does not want you to run to the Father. This world has plenty to offer you as a rescue counterfeit. 

“Perhaps this relationship will make you feel better?”

“You just need some entertainment and a night out!”

“I bet your phone will have all the necessary answers to feel better.”

While not all of these are evil in and of themselves, the enemy can and will use them to distract you from reaching for who you truly need. It takes faith to believe what God has told you. He has told us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4 ESV). That truth must be followed by action. We must believe it and then run to him for that comfort. What good does it do us to know that God will comfort us if we’re unwilling to sit at His feet and be comforted?

What should we say?

I know so many people right now walking through hardships. It’s so challenging to have a front-row seat to see someone’s life destroyed. To be honest, I’ve begged God to make it stop. I’ve pleaded that He would intervene. But still, their struggles continue. 

It can seem so hard to know what to say. 

And really, there’s nothing you can say.

Clichés like “It’ll get better” or “It’s gonna be ok” just start to feel like lies after a while, and I can’t even bring myself to say them. 

But, God.

The one thing I can say with certainty is that they are not alone. They are seen and heard. It doesn’t fix the problem. It doesn’t take away the pain, but it gives them something I really can’t give them; hope. Even in the darkness, we are not lost or forgotten by God. David says,

“Where shall I go from your Spirit?

 Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning

    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me,

    and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,

    and the light about me be night,”

even the darkness is not dark to you;

    the night is bright as the day,

    for darkness is as light with you.” (Psalm 139:7-12)

The darkness is as light with you. God’s presence can turn even the night into glorious rays of hope. His presence is that powerful in our lives. It’s supernatural. 

​