Doubt is a funny thing. We hardly ever do it as children, but as we age, we begin to doubt everything. Will I make enough money? Will I be able to live in peace? Does he really love me?

What’s even more crazy is how often we try to hide our doubts. We cover our doubts in faux self-confidence and self-assurance. We sometimes seem to operate in a “fake it till you make it” mentality about multiple aspects of our lives. If you’ve read my story, you’ve noticed that I struggled with doubt as well. I don’t know how you function as a human being in this broken world without inevitably falling into doubt. 

For example, like many of us, I vividly remember 9/11 like it was yesterday. However, what stuck with me was not the image of the plane flying into the towers, the people covered in ash, or my Muslim suite mate who didn’t leave her room for three days after the event happened. What truly stuck with me was being alone in my dorm room after it happened and realizing my world would never be the same. It wasn’t safe. It would never again be as safe as I thought it was on September 10, 2001.  

I doubted my government’s ability to keep me safe, God’s sovereignty in a world that could be so evil, and living the stable future that I had hoped for as an eighteen-year-old. I don’t remember talking about these doubts with anyone, but I do remember having it impressed upon me to pull up my bootstraps, put on a brave face, and be proud to be an American. So, the doubt stayed hidden.

I did the same thing with the Lord.

As professors and friends in college began to pull at threads of my faith, I began to hide my doubts. I continued acting the “Christian way” so that I wouldn’t lose my identity, but it was quickly becoming cracked in the foundations. Those doubts lasted for years, proving to be the biggest stumbling block to growing my relationship with the Lord. I had to open up. I had to bring to him my problems with the Bible, my doubt in his goodness, and the most significant doubt of all, “God, is all of this even true?”

A therapist I met with years ago gave me priceless advice on dealing with the scary thoughts trapped in my head. She said, “When the thought is just inside your head, it has power and is big and scary. The minute you say the thought aloud and share it with someone else, it instantly becomes smaller and loses much of its power.”

The same can be said about our doubts.

As long as our doubts about our faith stay trapped in our heads, they have all the power. They can convince us that the Bible is a made-up bunch of fairy tales. They can tell you that God doesn’t actually hear your prayers; you’re just talking to yourself. They can even convince you that God couldn’t actually love you; you’re too far gone. 

All of these statements are bold-faced lies from the enemy. But, if you don’t face them, say them out loud, and contend with them with God, then these lies hold the power. They will control and torment you and ultimately drive you away from God. 

Our God is not put off by our questions.

The Book of Job is a testament to that. Job and his friends spend many words wondering, asking, questioning, and guessing about God’s motives, justice, and intentions. Finally, God has had enough, and He shows up in the whirlwind to show them exactly who He is and who He is not.

I beg of you, do not be afraid to say out loud your doubts to God. Make a verbal declaration to a trusted friend of all the problems you are struggling with in your faith. Have honest, heart-felt conversations with people about your disappointments and confusions.  

The sooner we get these problems into the light and out of the shadow, the sooner we can find wisdom and answers from God. There is an intimacy with God that can only come from being honest. Like any friendship and relationship, you will only grow so close to another person if you are not your authentic self. If you are constantly hiding away parts of yourself you are either ashamed of or embarrassed by, you will only get so close to another person. Eventually, you will hit a wall of intimacy you can’t break through.

How do we face these doubts? First, you need a community. Don’t try to figure this out alone; find a Christian community you can trust to be honest with and bring your concerns to them. If they insult or belittle you because of your doubts, then find a different faith community.

Second, do the work. Once you face your doubts, do the hard work of finding the answers. Scholars, pastors, and theologians have written millions of words dedicated to helping us all understand our faith. Use these resources! The Bible Project is a great place to start!

Lastly, pray. Come to God and respectfully present your difficulties. Treat Him with reverence and honor as you do this. If you want to know the answer, humbly ask Him to show you, lead you, and give you wisdom. He loves you and is happy to take your hand and show you the way.

If you need a Christian community or advice on tackling your doubts, please send me a note. I will read it and am happy to point you in the right direction!